It is now officially a countdown to when I go away-and I am trying to keep myself organised which should be easy as:
1. I am not working and have all day
2. I have spent a lot of time researching
The thing is, the closer it is getting the less organised I am-little things seem to be taking ages and I am finding myself getting awfully confused and when I feel overwhelmed I end up opening my eyes as wide as they can go, not blinking, eyebrows raised in an attractive wrinkling of the forehead fashion and I do not move from the spot for some time...I just sit and stare. This may look peaceful from the outside but from the inside it is not peaceful at all, on the inside I am slowly getting more and more frustrated and I can feel the synaptic connections imploding into a "WHY AM I NOT MOVING TIME IS RUNNING OUT AND I HAVE STUFF TO DO WHAT DO I NEED TO DO OH MY GOD I DON'T KNOW IF I AM PREPARED ENOUGH" disaster zone and then it seems the only thing I am capable of doing is stuffing my face...
Perhaps because I am not at work and thus do not have a rigid time structure, and because I am spending too long thinking about it all because I have little else to think about, could be the reason I am sinking into pre-travel-inertia. And I do wonder if this is a normal part of the traveller process, to get so excited and then to start wondering if you even want to go at all! On the one hand people do it all the time and have incredible stories to tell and have an amazing trip of exploration and discovery, and it is not often you hear of these types of trips going wrong, and then on the other the more people I talk to the more it seems that not many people
would actually do it, go to the other side of the world on their own for 4 months. My close friend Ruth did it with her husband, which is nice and cozy and should they decide it isn't so great after all then they at least have one another to cling onto, as they huddle in an unfamiliar place, shutting their eyes and hoping all the un-english food and markets will go away...I instead will cling onto myself, my favourite books, and a little golden Buddha a nice Nun gave to me as a gift. Now I know for a fact at least that I will enjoy the food and the markets, as I always love those things. That I will enjoy spending time in Yogya with my friends and that once I find my feet in Bali that I will enjoy this time too.
However as someone who really doesn't like cities and can get lost in Halifax (small town where I grew up) I am somewhat nervy about Singapore, Bangkok, Malaysia and Thailand. It is quite obvious that I am nervous of the places that I have not been to yet-though I know one thing, I really don't like Jakarta. IT IS SIMPLY TOO BIG. And thats a general rule for me anyway, I do not like places that are too big. I like Amsterdam, which is easy to explore on foot and a city where you can cross one side to the other in approximately two hours. Instead I am going to places where Megacities are the norm and where I walked for 40minutes in Yogya to find that I was still on the same street. Thank God for Becak.
Okay, it is time for this Inertia to stop. And now, with still half of the day left to be productive I will do some online banking, buy Malaria tablets, and a few online meds, check my travel items and pack my bag to get an indication of how much to take and the weight, and possibly nip into town.
But first, the stuffing of ones face :-)
Ta for listening!